Financially Possible

“We are born of love; love is our mother.” – Rumi

I fundamentally believe the truth of Rumi’s quote here. We are born of love. All else is learned behaviors. I could easily take this post onto a philosophical tangent about good and evil and all else in between, but that’s not what I’m writing about today.

I am writing about Ahmaud Arbery. He too was born of love. As were the individuals who killed him. Some people reading may be unfamiliar with the story of what happened to Ahmaud Arbery. He was a 25 year old black man who was fatally shot while out on a run on February 23, 2020. There was video footage of his killing. That footage became public more than two months after the shooting.

I wish that I could say that this was merely the transcript of a poorly written television show. But it’s not. Stories similar to Ahmaud’s have been repeating throughout time in the United States. This is the real world in which we live. Our world. And stories like Ahmaud’s death and countless others must stop. We have the opportunity to make them stop. This begins with me and it begins with you. You are more powerful than you know. Your thoughts, your words, and your actions matter greatly. What each of us do here in the present creates the future.

I enjoy running outdoors. I have attempted to run a mile in Ahmaud’s shoes since learning of his story as I go out for my own run. I have not been successful. I am white. I simply cannot fathom this same feeling of concern for my well being as a result of my skin color. I’m capable of feeling sympathy, but not empathy since I lack the relevant experience from which to draw upon. Therefore, in the days since I decided to gain perspective through listening.

Now that I am a father, I understand the love, concern, and worry that comes with the territory of being a parent. Mothers have it on a whole other level though. And mothers of black children in the United States have a higher level still. This is not by choice. They must; the extreme level of concern is forced upon these mothers. What is it like to be a mother to a black child in the United States?

The panic that comes with your child walking to the store rather than driving is the antithesis of liberty. It’s the antithesis of freedom. We live in a society that prides itself on liberty and freedom. The most basic liberty, the right to live, was taken away from Ahmaud Arbery. It has been taken away from many other people as well. The panic stems from fear in the mother’s heart which is totally warranted. If only we live in a society where racism has been completely undone, then the mother could be freed from this detrimental worry. Could you imagine living in fear that your child might encounter a racist person and cops being called in? A situation like this has the potential to turn deadly in an instant. To me, living in perpetual stress resulting from concern of the safety of your loved ones doesn’t sound like the land of liberty and freedom described in our Constitution.

What Is Justice?

Ahmaud Arbery’s family and community understandably want justice. What is justice? That is a very difficult question to answer. I feel certain that a lasting justice is a world where anyone can go out for a run and not have to be concerned or fearful of violence simply due to the color of their skin. I feel certain that a lasting justice is a world where anyone can enter a retail store and feel confident that no violence will be inflicted upon them as a result of the color of their skin. Justice, to me, is a world where tragic stories like Ahmaud’s simply cease to occur and recur.

Justice of this form does not simply come about as a result of desiring it to be so. Racism in America and throughout our world must first be undone.

I grew up in central Texas. In certain ways, I was sheltered. I did not believe that racism existed in my own local community. I grew up watching the X-Files which has a slogan, “I want to believe.” I want to believe in the good in all humans. I wanted to believe that racism was something we had all moved beyond.

In my 20s, I became aware that racism was still prevalent in the US. But I held onto the belief that it didn’t exist in my own community close to home. I held an illogical position reconciled only through cognitive dissonance.

In my 30s, I shattered the illusion knowing that racism hits close to home. I continue to learn just how terrible and insidious racism has been and continues to be. I only just recently learned the full atrocities of the Tuskegee syphilis experiment.

How Does Racism Affect You?

Racism is like second hand smoke. It affects everyone’s health. Toxic to the source, target, and “bystanders”. It’s one reason that humanity is under-performing its true potential. The purpose of identifying racism wherever it exists is so that we can learn and improve.

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be. This is the interrelated structure of reality.” – MLK Jr.

No matter who you are, I encourage you to seek out relationships which challenge you to think outside of your comfort zone. This allows you greater opportunities for friendship, more learning, and to become aware of the problems faced by black Americans. For myself, I know that I would not have had such a sheltered viewpoint if I had had black friends prior to my 30s.

A Parallel Between Undoing Racism and Personal Finance

On this blog, I have typically written about social change and/or improving finances. Some financial “experts” advocate that individuals focus on reducing their largest expenses in order to have the greatest impact. Other financial “experts” advocate that individuals focus on eliminating certain small expenses (because they can add up to larger sums) in order to have the greatest impact. However, we all instinctively know the truth — that it all adds up. Want to make the greatest improvement upon your finances? Then focus on all of it – the big, the medium, and the small. Pay attention to details.

And so it is with racism and undoing racism. I’m no expert on undoing racism, but I’m learning. We must pay attention to the details. We must systemically deconstruct it out of our culture. I believe that white people are the ones who can perfectly dismantle what their ancestors put in place. “We do not inherit the Earth from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children”. I, and others, can teach those who are willing to listen and walk on this life giving and liberty deriving journey.

What’s the purpose of identifying an expense that doesn’t derive joy or sufficient value for its cost? The purpose is to learn. The purpose is to improve your financial efficiency so that you and your family can have a brighter tomorrow.

What’s the purpose in defining, identifying, and calling out racism whenever we witness it? The purpose it to learn. The purpose is to improve our social efficiency so that everyone has a brighter tomorrow.

Knowing the right steps to take and placing them into practice is a different matter of course. Humans have understood how wealth is built for thousands of years. Yet, building wealth has escaped so many higher income individuals throughout history. What’s lacking? Consistency and discipline.

Undoing Racism

Undoing racism requires consistency and discipline. It requires knowing the steps and acting upon those steps. The correct action is often not easy. Informing someone that what they just said is racist is not easy. But it is an act of love. When the person being informed is one of your own family members, the challenge increases. However, it must be done if you are to seize your own opportunities to undo racism.

I had to inform one of my own family members this year that what they said was racist. I was able to articulate why. We spoke later on the phone and I could sense no ill-will or grievance toward me. I believe that was because I had delivered the message lovingly.

This is just one example of the work required in undoing racism. The work must be consistent and disciplined. We must focus on all small, medium, and large racist words and deeds. The small gives rise to the medium and the large by creating a culture that allows racism to flourish. To tend to the garden and provide the best yield, we must identify and uproot all the weeds.

“Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.” – MLK Jr.

What Can I Do? What Can You Do?

When I reflect on this quote by MLK Jr., there is some logic that our technological progress has outpaced our social progress. With technology, the advances of the few benefits the great many. Authentic social progress requires advancements from the great many. And that means you.

So what can you do?

• Keep learning about racism and prejudice. What is racism? What is prejudice? The definitions are constantly evolving as the human collective continues to learn more.
• Identify racism and prejudice. Whenever you witness it, call it out in the most loving way that you possibly can. Be on the lookout for micro aggression words and actions.
• Commit to tackling racism in your heart and mind. Seek racism within your own thoughts, words, and actions. Take time to self reflect.
• Fear less; love more. Having less fear does not mean being fearless. Allow love to guide you. Avoid irrational fears such as a fear of losing power. i.e. Being white and knowing that whites will eventually become a minority in the U.S. There is so much more to be gained when you open your heart and allow yourself to see the possibilities. Fear is like a boa constrictor squeezing its prey. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the heart-killer.
• Educate your children with love and not fear. Education begins in the home and spans outward throughout schools and communities. Education is the bridge from our present to our future. How we educate determines our future outcome. We need the strongest possible bridge in order to create the best possible future.
• Be vocal. See something; say something.
• Vote. Take time to thoroughly vet the individuals you are voting for. Critically evaluate whether or not the candidates exhibit racism in words or deeds.
• I’m certain there’s more and the community at large will aid me in enhancing this list through comments.

Ahmaud Arbery and Trayvon Martin were born of love. As is everyone. We are called to love. Let us never forget that and act accordingly.